Sometimes finding the right words is the hardest part.
Whether you need a ghostwriter, a writing coach, or something in between, help is on the way.
by Monica Bradbury
For several decades now, Ontario Parks & Recreation has been publishing their program guide four times a year, and for several of those years it has included a program they insist upon calling "Little Chef’s." (Little Chef’s what, you ask? No. Just "Little Chef’s." One is left to imagine the object, if there is one, in the possession of Little Chef all on one’s own.)
Finally one day when I could no longer stand to look at it, sandwiched there in between Fun-nastics with Miss Nancy and Cutthroat Soccer for Preschoolers, I composed a very gently-worded email—succinct, polite, to-the-point—and then I waited.
No response.
The winter program guide came out. Once again, "Little Chef’s." I was torn between bitter despair and jaded resignation.
And then.
The date was March 10, 2017. I remember this distinctly—because, you see, March 10 happens to be my birthday—not just in 2017 but in fact every year. However, on this particular March 10, I was the recipient of a Birthday Miracle.
On March 10, 2017, I waited until 4 pm for the mail to come, and, on the off chance that someone might actually send me a birthday card through the USPS in 2017, I crossed the street to the mailbox.
No card. Just the Ontario Parks & Recreation Spring 2017 Program Guide.
I took the mail in the house. I opened the program guide.
The clouds parted, the Heavens opened upon me, and a golden light shone down from above. At long last: "Little Chefs." It was quite possibly the best birthday gift I could ever receive! I was so happy it brought a tear to my eye. I excitedly tracked down each member of my household to regale them with the tale of my Birthday Miracle, and then I started making phone calls. My pulse still races to this day at the mere memory of the joy I experienced! For three glorious months I floated on Cloud Nine, imagining myself a new future in which I would rid the world of all rogue apostrophes, and it...was...AWESOME.
And then I got the Summer Program Guide.
"Little Chef’s."